A Well Thought out Twinkle: Party Arab Style

I spent a week up North in the Mufraq area with a Peace Corp girl, Emily. I arrived on a Thursday, and on Friday I was already being immersed into visits and daily events/activities of the village. Emily had been invited to attend the engagement party of her neighbor’s (Khaloud) brother, and since I was staying with her for a week, I was able to tag along as well.

At first, I thought the party we were attending was a wedding party. The events that unfolded were similar to a wedding party I attended some years ago for the son of a family friend. I found out at another visit to Khaloud's house a couple of days later this was actually the engagement party, and the wedding was going to take place in July. However, there are a lot of similarities between the two.

Khaloud, her two daughters, Emily, and I left Mufraq around 10:30 by bus to head to a near by village called Ramtha where Khaloud’s family lives. When we arrived at the family house, Emily and I were ushered into the guest sitting room. A typically guest sitting room in the village areas consist of long foam cushions on the floor set against the wall with long foam cushions also up against the wall for back support. Scattered throughout the room are large block type cushions used as arm rest for you to lean against.

(Picture: This picture gives an idea of the type of sitting area. The room is usually very large and these cushions line the entire room. Left to right in the picture: Rania (Khaloud’s sister), me, Fadriell (another sister), Emily, and Khaloud. The girl in the purple I do believe is Khaloud’s youngest sister. As you can tell, nobody in the picture is wearing shoes. It is customary to remove your shoes at the door of either the sitting room or the main house door depending on the home.)

Upon first arriving, we were served mango juice. (The customary thing to do is to serve either hot tea or coffee to the guests.) In the Middle East, it is typical for the Arabs not to eat lunch until about 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon, sometimes even as late as 4:00. Around 11:30, they served us chips and some more juice to sustain Emily and me until lunch time. Somewhere in between all this, we were served the customary bitter coffee, which is just a small gulp, but is drunk slowly. We visited for a few more hours (both Emily and I becoming extremely tired) before we had lunch. It was called Magloubi, but was a different type of Magloubi than I have had in the past. Magloubi typically is rice, meat, cauliflower, sometimes potatoes and eggplant with cinnamon spice added to it, piled onto one huge tray and often served with yogurt. What we were served was rice, chicken with cauliflower, but there was no cinnamon flavoring and was not served with yogurt. It is also customary for beverages not to be served or drunk during the meal.

After lunch, Emily and I accompanied Khaloud to the salon where she got her hair and make-up done for the engagement party later that day. When we arrived, Khaloud’s sister, Rania, was already there getting ready herself, and later, some more sisters and younger girls arrived to get their hair done as well.

Women are not allowed to have their hair uncovered or dress immodestly in front of any male that is not their husband, son, father, or brother. (Immodestly means wearing anything that reveals the skin on the legs, arms, etc.) However, with Islam engagement and wedding parties in the village, the guests are usually separated into different rooms for men and women during the festivities. This allows the family members of the groom (specifically the sisters, mother, and younger nieces) to go about the room uncovered. However, the remaining guests (family members of the bride, including the mother and sisters) must remain covered since they are in the presence of a male that is not part of their immediate family. Since the groom was Khaloud’s brother, she and her sisters were allowed to “doll themselves up” for the engagement party.

(Picture: L-R Khaloud and her sister, Rania. Rania is not married. She specifically bought this dress, got her hair and make-up done for the engagement party. Even though no males would actually see her dressed up like this, their mothers or sisters would. By dressing up this way, Rania is “displaying” herself to the other women in hopes that they will find her suitable for their sons or brothers and begin making arrangements for her own engagement.)

After the women had finished getting ready, several family members and friends began to arrive at the family home. A bus ("party bus") was rented to transport the "dolled up" women to the location of the engagement party.

(The party bus.)

As mentioned, the guests are usually separated in different rooms for males and females. However, the engaged couple usually stays within the women’s hall, sitting on a stage or platform on a fancy love seat which has been specifically made for wedding ceremonies such as this. Tables and chairs are set out for the guests. Within the women’s quarter, music plays loudly, and the women dance around the room in a traditional Arab fashion. After greeting all the female guests and receiving blessings, the engaged couple will often step down from the platform and participate in the dancing. The bride and groom will stand in the middle of a large circle as the women dance around them, and may participate in an individual dance of their own (equivalent to the Western custom of a man and wife’s first dance).

(Picture: The future bride and groom sitting on a love seat on an elevated platform.)

Engagements and wedding parties can last up to hours at a time. Fortunately, this engagement party only lasted a couple of hours. During this engagement celebration, Kanafa (an Arabic dessert) was served to the guest.

(Kanafa: A Middle Eastern dessert consisting of a base layer made of cheese mixed with milk or cream with a crispy layer of dried noodles that has a slightly orange-ish color. It is often topped with some syrup. Deliciously fattening and horrible for your health, but I love this stuff!)

After the engagement party was over, Emily and I returned to the family’s home where family members and close family friends visited for awhile. Meanwhile, the future groom was visiting with the bride’s family before he returned back home. When he arrived home, the family members cheered, sat around him asking questions and teasing him. Dinner of shawarma (a Middle Eastern sandwich wrap of either shaved lamb, beef or chicken. The meat is placed on large spit and is shaved off of it throughout the day. There are different varieties of what it is made with. Some places put tahini sauce or humus on the bread. It can also have french fries are wrapped in it, pickles, cucumbers and tomatoes, or a variation of all of it) and falafal sandwiches (fried ball of chick-pea patties) were served.

It was about 10:30 before Khaloud, her two daughers, Emily and I left to return back to Mufraq. Since it was a Friday (Equivalent to the USA's Sunday) buses had stopped running a long time ago. Since we were not accompanied by a male, a private driver was hired to take us back to Mufraq. It was 11:00 before we arrived back home, making it a 13 hour visit/trip. Well accomplished.

(More pictures of the trip)